I do not usually refer to myself as looking like I princess, because I feel more like Donkey in Shrek most of the time, with the facial expressions of Pascal when I am displeased. I am not particulary gracious, as I am more similar to Anna from Frozen with my clumsiness and bad posture, than I am with any other Disney Princess (Rapunzel is part of the clumsiness club too though). This got a little out of topic, but that is what you get if you ever bring up Disney in a converstaion with me. It will just get worse from here.

The point of all this Disney talk is that I recently ordered a dress that is slightly too big for me, but I do not care as it makes me feel like a combination of a 50's bride, a fairy and a Disney princess. I also feel like I giant marshmallow when I wear it, and I had a hard time getting up again after having a little photosession.

Books have always been an important part of my life, and I have read mostly fantasy and fiction like Harry Potter and the Inheritance cycle. It's only recently I have fallen for classic romantic novels (written by mostly female authors). As I wrote on instagram earlier today:

I like to think that books saved my life. As I've told you before, I was severely bullied. I used to hide in the library when I was in 4th or 5th grade, because none of the others seemed to care about books at the time. I was 9 or 10 when the librarian (who knew I was having a hard time) suggested I should start reading Harry Potter. I don't think she will ever know how much that little observation of hers meant for me and my future years. I went through hell at school for many years to come, and I had a hard time outside school as well. Books saved my life because I was able to escape and use my imagination. I think this is why my biggest dream is to write. To write books and create worlds of my own, so others may disappear in them for a while.

I did not plan to get this deep in this post, but maybe it is a good thing. I never felt pretty growing up, and I was told I never would be. I have never believed prettiness is something that can only be found on the outside, and I like to think of my past and my heartache as things that combined makes me a beautiful friend, companion, mother of cats (Games of Thrones referance, I hope you cathed it) and writer. I have come to realize that I do not need to look perfect to be good enough. I only have to believe I am good enough. I turn 25 this year, and I really do not want to look back in 25 years, frustrated over the fact that I problably will not understand why I was so mean to myself 25 years ago. I have already, in many ways, lost many years of my life due to bullying and depression. I do not want to lose more time where I can be happy with being in my own skin, even if my skin has acne, scars and bruise easily. Who should or would really bother to care if my hair is a constant mess on one side, dispite looking good on the other, if I do not care about it? If anyone were to judge me just based on my history or appereance, they might just miss a potential good friend and a badass mother of cats to talk about weird stuff with.

I think you need to embrace yourself, and it does not matter if you feel like Donkey, Shrek, Cinderella, Zorro or Tarzan. The most important gift you can give to yourself is to be kind. To not talk down to yourself and point out everything you might find wrong with yourself. What if you regret all those words one day? The years you spent in front of the mirror talking badly about yourself will be wasted years you will never get back.

You do not need tons of self confidence to start being more kind to yourself, but you will soon see that your reflection of yourself will grow greater. I know it is not easy, but it is worth the try, right?

A little disclaimer: I actually never was the kind of girl who cared much for Disney princesses growing up, as I was stubborn and uninterested in boys for that whole "happy ever after"-thing. I also grew up with feminist parents, so to be a stereotypical Disney princess has never been a goal for me. I pretended to be Zorro or Tarzan instead, and I got mad if anyone said a girl could not play a male character. When it comes to Disney movies, it has always been about the animal sidekicks for me, but I feel the Princess game has improved recently with Tangled, Brave and Frozen. Now the term princess can mean more than just falling in love with a prince, and live happily ever after. It could mean that you can build an awesome tree house, eat pizza and maybe have time to fall in love, when you feel ready. The term can mean that we follow up on the story instead of just saying "And they lived happily ever after. The End."

Sorry for going all deep but sometimes this things just sort of grow out of my fingertips, and I would not really want to stop it. I hope you found some help in this in some way, or that I added more wood to the fire of self confidence that you are currently building already.

Love, Susanne

Psst! My dress is from Chi Chi London.